blah blah blah

i've been quiet for a while about what's going on out here on the border, in the bsc house, etc. i was trying to figure out what i'm going to do next year. i had the opportunity to do a second year of volunteer service w/ bsc, and to be honest, it was a really great placement--i would've been working at an organization in the same complex of services for homeless people where the daycare i work at now is, working with clients to get them ready to share their stories of becoming and being homeless with the community and then finding places to go talk to the community at large, to do public awareness stuff. and the executive director over there at community of hope is really amazing. she really gets the big picture of homelessness in a way i haven't seen for a long time, and even as an e.d., she sees their clients as people, as individuals. i would've really loved to work with her, but i decided i just wasn't ready to spend another year here in this program.

i had also applied for a year-long internship with the friends committee on national legislation (a quaker lobby organization in washington, dc), and i hadn't heard from them yet. i knew that taking the bsc placement meant i would have to turn down fcnl if i got it, and even though i didn't know yet, i wasn't prepared to turn them down if they decided they wanted me. in the end, i was right, two months ago, when i said there was no way i was qualified for that internship--they were "unable to offer me a position."

so, you ask, what will you be doing come august? good question. i've got no idea. several of my current bsc community members will still be out here, but not in the program, so i suppose that's a possibility for me as well. i figure rent is just as cheap in las cruces as in clemson, and the job market might actually be a little bit better here, if my friends' accounts are accurate. but i really miss the southeast, sweet tea, and especially our soft little mountains, which are so different from the sudden shock of steep mountain you find out here. right now, i'm just taking in the moment, and trying not to stress out too much about the future. there's not a lot i can do. it's too late to apply for grad school or any programs like teach for america or a different americorps program, but it's too early to start applying for normal jobs at a book store or starbucks. i think i'm ready to start thinking about going back to school, but i don't know what i want to study, and although i'd really love to become a professional student and just get a bunch of degrees in things i'm interested in but might never use, i should probably start thinking about how i'm going to afford a car and an apartment and getting health insurance one day, and that includes wondering how i'm going to pay for those degrees. anyway, i figure i got at least another month of living in the moment before i need to start deciding. which is really perfect, since ma & daddy are coming to visit me at the end of august, and although i've been able to carefully avoid the topic over the phone (haha. love you!) i'm sure that during the week of face-to-face contact i won't be so lucky.

back to my old tricks again...

i mean, really?

my new catchphrase seems to be, "sweet god, america... why?" with the occasional variation to speak to individual or groups of americans, "sweet god, americans... why?"

i think i'll say it again, since as i write this there's a girl standing in the parking lot across the street in nothing but her underpants, attempting to either make out with or beat up her apparent boyfriend. oh... it seems she's actually trying to do both. interesting.

let me know when you're sick of immigration.

let me know if you want to know more about people i can see from my window.

just kiddin'...

i do have more news.
1. i'm training for a 5k and blogging about trying to be healthy with my friends virginia and becky over at http://vbkweightlossjourney.blogspot.com/
2. last night, we went bowling for mary meghan's birthday. i suck at bowling. however, we only had an hour and we kept having to wait like 6 years for the pins to get reset and we were getting frustrated b/c they were going to kick us out at the end of our hour, whether we had 8 frames left or only 2 bowls. the people in the other lane didn't take nearly as long to come up with wierd names to put in for themselves as we did, so they were done in time, but my lane was nervous we'd not get to see our final scores. luckily for me, just as the "1 minute" warning popped up, it was my turn. i stood and waited for the pins for approximiately 48 seconds. no lie. then, with everyone watching, i bowled the last possible time before some teenagers who can apparently spend $10 for one hour of bowling were going to take the place over, and i got a strike.

best. day. ever.

unfortunately, the computer had already kicked us off and it didn't count on my score. but whatever.

news...

i am a bad blogger.

but in my defense, there has been a lot of stuff going on. and sometimes you need to just be present, and not always thinking about how to write about it on your blog later. that might be my biggest frustration with growing up in this generation. since when is it better to type words to someone halfway across the world than to talk to someone in front of you (not that i don't love those of you who are halfway across the world and wish i could talk to you more. just that sometimes, we should cherish what we have right in front of us first).

i last wrote here, essentially, just before the election. i won't pretend that posting links and short sentences counts as writing. now we have a new president. a new and awesome president. the only thing i guess i can say on a personal level on the topic is that we had an inauguration party in el paso and wore ridiculous dresses. here's alissa from the el paso house (left) and four of my roommates. love.

of course even though dad gave me a camera to use out here i'm still living like i don't have one, so i'll steal everyone's pictures soon and put them on flickr... hopefully for real this time.

i last wrote about my job and the program that i'm in september. yikes. in my defense, i didn't have a whole lot to say about work. i had a really hard time at habitat in the fall. the affiliate here is going through some major changes, and i got here just in time to be stuck in the middle of it. they really needed a lot more from me than i was able to commit to, considering the commitments i had made to my community and, well, honestly, when you're not really being paid all that much it's hard to feel excited about working more than 50 hours a week. and some weeks, i was working 50 hours and not getting everything done. it was making me really sad and frustrated all the time, and it had a really negative impact on my community life. i decided that for my own sanity, and for the sake of my community, and for the sake of the relationship between border servant corps and habitat, i needed to leave.
in january, i started work at jardin de los niños, a day care for homeless and near-homeless kids. i work primarily in the 2-year-old room, although i can "float" to other classrooms if i need to, and we don't have too many 2-year-olds (we have to keep teacher/student ratios at 1/4 in that age). i'm really enjoying the new job, but of course it's not without its drawbacks. these kids are exposed, at a very early age, to a lot of difficult situations--in many cases the least of which is their homelessness (not that the poverty their families experience doesn't play a major role in making those difficulties a part of their lives). in the end, the organization is structured well, my boss is understanding and supportive, and i go home every day thinking that i did something that was good, even if it was "just" giving a kid a hug.

hmm. what else has been going on?

have you ever heard of white sands national monument? it's amazing. it's one of my favorite places on earth.

as you can see, the first time i went there i was really excited.

we've been back a couple times since then. it's only a little more than half an hour drive from las cruces, and it's just a whole bunch of gypsum sand dunes. it's fun to go sledding, or build a sand man (kinda like a snow man, but built into the side of a sand dune), or do danger rolls...

they're dangerous.

again, more pictures on flickr soon...

in the same vein, we went to the city of rocks on friday for community day. it was pretty cool, but it mostly made me want to go back to chaco canyon. i was sad we didn't get to spend so much time there, but we had some delays with leaving las cruces in the morning, and then we didn't really prepare for cooking the black bean burgers we had brought for lunch, and we ended up eating them at about 4:30, hung out for a little bit, and then cleaned up quickly so we could go hike before the sun went down. we emptied out of the van just in time to run around and find a good perching spot for watching the sunset.hmm. i feel like that's the most exciting news i've got right now. hopefully it won't be another four months before i write again...