Sunday, January 23, 2011

Guest Post from Mom

I asked my family members if they might be willing to write down some of their reflections about my time here in Mexico as they see it, especially after having visited me over the New Year holiday. Here's the first post in that series, written by my mom.
My family likes to give me grief for wanting to go shopping on vacation. Actually, I hate to shop in the American sense--wandering aimlessly in a mall, or flying through the grocery store to collect items on a list. But I do love visiting the places where artisans work and sell their wares, where people labor to sell what they have cultivated to provide for their families.

While tenaciously refusing the family’s accusation that I am shopper, I admit that I best experience a new location or culture by seeing what the local people are making and selling. I try to avoid the shops geared for tourists and seek out the vendors selling handmade items. So when we were told the members of an artist’s cooperative were going to be visiting where we were staying, I was ecstatic. We first gathered for introductions, hearing each artisan’s name and a description of their craft, an explanation of how the co-op works to find fair trade buyers. Then we visited each artisan’s table, heard more details of their creative process, and found ourselves buying something from each artist--both because their goods were amazing, and because we simply found the artists endearing. We heard stories about absent family members who had made woven wool rugs and palm baskets, about children as young as 6 learning the family’s embroidery trade, and about a couple who travel to Guatemala several times a year to bring the extended family’s textile art to this co-op--where the selling price of their clothing, bags, scarves and belts provided something closer to a living wage--and sending the money back to Guatemala.

I know that in Cuernavaca, most people are just trying to scrape by, with varying degrees of success. But as one who has always wanted to make a living as an artist or crafter, I have experienced the thrill of a customer falling in love with something I have made, and the agony of a person examining my creation, and with a an unimpressed shrug, walking away empty handed. So I found these artisans to be not only creative, but courageous. Laying out one’s handmade work is a bit like bearing one’s true self, not knowing if others will embrace or reject us. These brave artists unveil their goods, knowing that the uninformed will think they can get a better deal elsewhere, although a mass-produced imitation is often made with far less quality and skill. The artists bring their work to market, and ask a still-modest price that not only reflects the value of the item itself, but the skill and time taken to make it. And in displaying their life’s work, in bearing their soul, they know that what others see cannot be hidden again. How brave to say, "This is what I create, and who I am. Take it or leave it."

Kat also led us on what is known as the “Cuernavaca Quest”, including two shopping experiences--one at the “Mega” (equivalent to a Mexican Wal-Mart), and the other at the Mercado, the market. We had a list of items to price by quantity, including rice, beans, cooking oil, toilet paper, chicken, a backpack, and women’s jeans. At the Mega, the parking lot was full, items were easy to find in the well lit, clean, organized store with shopping carts, wide aisles, and well dressed customers buying an assortment of necessities and luxuries. Buying in kilos with pesos, we weren’t sure that the prices were desirable, but one could certainly buy almost anything there.

At the Mercado, we were shoved into a dark, cramped maze of stalls with an assortment of goods, some we couldn’t identify. The food items were laid out in the open on tables without Mega’s sterile cellophane packaging. Shoppers carried their own baskets and were limited to what they could carry home on the bus and store in their small homes. If a family lacks the ability to safely store perishable goods, shopping must be done on a daily basis. I saw baskets with a few pieces of meat, a pair of sandals, beans, corn, a mango, and one roll of toilet paper. Since I grew up in Atlanta, I was unprepared for some of the produce we saw: whole pig heads, sides of beef, pigs’ feet, entire chickens hanging with only the feathers removed, and organ meats of every variety. Kat’s father was raised on a farm, so these were familiar sights and pleasant memories for him. For those we passed, the experience seemed to be a social event as they greeted neighbors and friends while they shopped. We were able to locate the same items on the list that we carried through the Mega, often in smaller quantities, but prices per-pound were higher.

In Cuernavaca, as it is in the US, it seems that the well-off have easy access to the more desirable goods, in greater quantity, at better prices. For the people we observed, their ability to acquire “stuff” is directly related to the homes and neighborhoods in which they live--those with an already comfortable life have a pleasant shopping experience, while those living under the weight of limited income have the added burdens of transportation difficulties, fewer choices, smaller quantities, and higher prices, each an additional stone laid upon the already crushing load of poverty. And so it was with a mixture of emotions we purchased treasures to take home. We bought art, jewelry, clothing, and crafts for a fraction of what they are worth--but we were supporting the artisans, weren’t we?  We filled extra suitcases with luxuries for ourselves and friends that the makers themselves couldn’t afford--but we were helping them improve their quality of life, right?  Isn’t that right? 

Saturday, January 15, 2011

my last la estación post

Part of me is really glad that the change in my work site came at Christmas break time. It meant that things felt like they had a closing, an end, that wasn't forced or awkward.
Miguel and me--the convivio more or less raging in the background
The Sunday after my birthday was the Christmas convivio at the community center. This is an event we had been busy planning since October. Mostly it's an opportunity for the community to get together in a more festive way than usual and share a meal, but the children who are sponsored by CFCA donors also get a gift and a bag of candy.

It was a very different experience to be in la estación on a weekend. Everyone seemed much more relaxed, and it was nice to have my friends seated at the table instead of running in and out, eating standing, and hurriedly rushing their kids off to school--although the ladies serving up tacos barely had a moment to breathe, I'm sure. I got to spend longer periods of time in casual conversation with my students. I received lots of hugs. I was especially glad that three of my friends, including two fellow YAGMs, Kate and Sam, got to spend this time with me and my community. One of my biggest fears about leaving my work site mid-year was the feeling that there wouldn't be anything to show for what I had done there. This is especially true because of the nature of my responsibilities; my main job in Mexico is to just be. I feel so blessed to have been a part of this community, and even more so to have Kate holding my hand as I walked away that evening, to have witnesses to the love and joy I experienced there.
Kate and Carlos kept everyone entertained.
Sam and I took pictures.
I can't say that working in la estación has been stress-free. I won't say that I don't feel a little relieved, even. Although I always felt safe and cared for, it wears on your confidence to be constantly told you're risking your life just by going to work (one of the more common coping mechanisms I have encountered in the face of rising drug violence is to repeat a mantra of distance: "this violence is something that happens to 'them' and not 'us'"). It has been difficult to know how much closer my loved ones are to kidnappings and murders, to wonder whose cousin or mother will be next.

My father has been good to remind me that my blessing is my curse, that what most equips me to serve here is also what makes the service so exhausting. I feel acutely the impacts of poverty. I follow the line of reason between inadequate schooling and drug-addicted 12-year-olds, and the path fills me with frustration. I absorb the fear and the sorrow that accompanies the deaths of people I do not know. I recognize and am ashamed of my own complicity in all of it. I am tired of feeling so much. But I also know that I cannot--I will not--forget these people who have met me on the street corner to share taquitos and gossip, who have repeated with determination the few phrases of English I was able to share in four short months, who have laughed with me, and cried with me, and reminded me that they are my own brothers and sisters.

Friday, January 14, 2011

new work placement

Unfortunately, I can't offer boatloads of information. But here's what I've got. I'll still be working at Casa Tatic in the afternoons Monday-Friday. I know I haven't talked much about the roots of that organization, so here's a little. Casa Tatic is a project of VAMOS!, a non-profit in Cuernavaca. By design, Casa Tatic is primarily a resource to indigenous families who have recently immigrated to the city, and frequently lack access to water, food, and bathrooms. The manualidades (handicrafts) group that I work with was started as a second layer of support to these same people. Frequently, indigenous people in the cities of Mexico make their meager living by selling handicrafts and folk art. Our group not only provides these women with a hot meal, time to achieve a finished project, and much-needed educational childcare, but also strives to help develop the skills required of these artisans.

On Monday/Wednesday/Friday mornings, I'll be working in another VAMOS! project. This center is located in a municipality of southern Cuernavaca, called Temixco. They also host a school much like Casa Tatic in the afternoons, but three mornings a week, when I'll be there, it's a center for personas de tercer edad (senior citizens). They offer manualidades (although I think in this context they'll look a little more camp-craft and a little less home-ec), dance, yoga, and various other activities. Although I continue to feel sad about leaving La Estación, I'm super excited about this opportunity. While many YAGMs around the world are struggling to feel useful while they sit on their duffs, my favorite parts of this experience have been the moments I just drank a coffee with someone and listened to the story of their day. I'm having a blast learning to embroider table cloths and bead toilet seat covers. Not only was this organization one of the places I originally hoped to be placed, but I think it will be a fantastic fit for me as I continue this year of service.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

oh. umm. hello.

Although I generally try to avoid the "sorry I haven't posted" messages, I do apologize for my extremely extended absence. There's been a lot going on, not all of which I could post about yet, and it made me feel unable to post anything at all. Because, as I said, there's a lot of new stories and info, I'm going to break the news up over multiple posts this weekend. Stick with me and I think you'll see what I mean.

Firstly, back in December, I had the single best birthday I can remember. Sounds strange, right? Even weirder is how that came about. I really don't like my birthday. It's too close to Christmas, too much stuck in the middle of the time when everyone's too busy and feeling the pressure of too much obligation. Most of my life I have tried desperately--and failed horribly--to make it something people are excited about. In the last couple years, I've just wanted to spend a couple hours with close friends. This year, I wanted to ignore it. I thought it would make me too sad to try to celebrate with people who've known me for three months--at best.

It didn't help that a week before my birthday, Andrea and I told my supervisor in La Estación that I wouldn't be returning in the new year. The violence that I've been writing about hasn't essentially changed since arrival, but Andrea and I both felt that the tone had changed, and we decided that for the sake of the program it would be better to find a different arrangement. It wasn't an easy conversation. A lot of the people I was working closely with took the news very personally, and it was emotional for me as well; in such a short time, I already feel like I have walked through fire with these families. So, on December 17th, the last Friday of work before holidays, my birthday/going away party was scheduled. Total downer, right? I figured I would be there to eat some cake, answer the community's questions about exactly why I had to leave mid-year, and hope to get out without a major scene. I gave up all hope of having a high-energy, festive birthday. I could only imagine how much it was going to stink.
Some of my closest friends from the projecto, including Sylvia, Lulu, Maestra Fresvinda, and Guille.

On the morning of, more than 20 people showed up with various sorts of foods to share, a huge cake, and balloons. It was anything but a "going away party." It was a birthday party, full of hugs, friends, and laughter. My changing work situation was only addressed as people said their goodbyes: I hope you have a wonderful birthday, that you have a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, a good visit with your family, and that you love your new job. We'll miss you so much. It was everything I could've hoped for.

More tomorrow on my new work placement. 
Saturday I'll post more end-of-service reflections about La Estación.
Look for a post about Christmas and my parents' visit on Sunday.
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